Here I am, typing on the royal red couch in Starbucks, with my glasses on, hair tied and earphones plugged in with Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran blasting at full volume. It's raining. Instead of doing my assignments, here I am scrolling through the dashboard of my Tumblr. Procrastination at its best. Hmh. Listening to Ed Sheeran really does make me feel sort of alone, in a way I can't really seem to explain. He succeeds to get me reminiscing. Before you jump to conclusions, no, there isn't anyone specific that I miss. I just miss having someone around. But I don't want a relationship, no, I don't. I just want someone I could talk to, but then again, I have my friends and oh god, they are amazing. Be it friends from college, friends from my childhood or friends from the Internet. I have and have met a lot of amazing people these past few years. I am forever grateful.
But,
I am human. And sometimes I do feel sort of lonely, I guess. Seeing my best friends going through break ups only remind me of the state I was in not so long ago. I was at my lowest point when things didn't work out between us. And I honestly don't want to be at that position again. Because being in a relationship is like standing at the edge of a mountain, it takes effort and the beauty of it is just, breath taking. But one push and you fall, harder than ever and the pain is just so excruciating to the point where you just want to push everyone away. You try your best to smile just so you could avoid the "Are you okay?" questions from your friends but every night, before you fall asleep and you listen to all these songs that makes you reminisce, you just wish to feel numb so you don't ever need to feel again.
"Settle down with me,
Cover me up,
Cuddle me in"
But,
I am human. And sometimes I do feel sort of lonely, I guess. Seeing my best friends going through break ups only remind me of the state I was in not so long ago. I was at my lowest point when things didn't work out between us. And I honestly don't want to be at that position again. Because being in a relationship is like standing at the edge of a mountain, it takes effort and the beauty of it is just, breath taking. But one push and you fall, harder than ever and the pain is just so excruciating to the point where you just want to push everyone away. You try your best to smile just so you could avoid the "Are you okay?" questions from your friends but every night, before you fall asleep and you listen to all these songs that makes you reminisce, you just wish to feel numb so you don't ever need to feel again.
"Settle down with me,
Cover me up,
Cuddle me in"
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