Fast Foward 10 Years

I have always had a vaguely vivid imagination of what my future would be. I picture myself being successful, hair tied up in a bun, in a slim fit black office pants with maybe a sheer black collared shirt, working at somewhere in the city of New York, maybe.

I picture to have an apartment, not too big not too small. I’ll have my paintings and Arissa’s (hoping she takes up art) up on the white brick walls. I’ll let Arissa decorate her room because then instead of having to sneakily read her diary or facebook wall (if we even still use facebook), I’ll roughly know what she’s thinking by the state of her room. After all, your room represents the state of your mind. I’ll let her have her space, I’ll even let her bring food in the room, as long as she cleans it up. I don’t think I want a maid. I grew up with maids and when mum said we no longer needed one anymore, cleaning the dishes felt like a burden. So I want us to be able to take care of our own well-being. I want to be successful, but I want it to be simple. I want to be able to go in Prada and know I am able to afford a 5000 dollar bag yet refuse to buy one because I would rather buy canvases to paint even if I’m not that good of an artist, maybe some cooking books that I would read on a boring Sunday but give up 2 minutes after flipping the pages and maybe order some pizza instead, maybe some nice carpet to replace the one Arissa spilled chocolate milk all over and I had no idea on how to get the stains off. I want it to be simple. I want Arissa to be able to come talk to me, knowing I’ll be there to listen, even if it’s just about a tabby cat she saw after school, even if its just how she heard a good song on the radio, even if she decides to go on forever explaining about the little details, it's fine, details is good. I’ll just nod my head and smile. I want Arissa to know smoking isn’t something I approve of even when I sneak out for a smoke of my rolled up tobacco at night by the balcony when she’s fast asleep. I want to feel the guilt of being a hypocrite because I am just that over protective yet unable to stop my own bad habits. I want to feel the simple guilt instead of being in debt. I want music to be played in the living room, all the time. I want to hear good folk music, maybe The Lumineers or Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeroes while I cook. I want Arissa to help me cut tomatoes even though she would rather much be on the computer. I want to make good coffee and good hot chocolate for those nights we end up being awake at 3 in the morning because Arissa had a bad dream. I want Arissa to learn how to love herself first before she gives that vulnerable part of her to a boy that decides to throw in those three words.

I want it to be simple.